The HuffPost Live Butch-Femme Face-Off

hplffaf.40 PM Last week I took part in a panel on HuffPost Live about butch and femme privilege. The live segment sought to address how lesbians face different challenges because of their gender identities, specifically down butch-femme lines. Our fantastic host, Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani, asked why there's so much infighting in our community over who has less privilege - butches or femmes.

It was not lost on me that the majority of the panel represented websites for MOC folks - I was joined by Anita Dolce Vita (who is marvelously femme and a dear pal) at dapperQ, St. Harridan's Mary Going and Mo Willis of Bklyn BoiHood - wildly popular (and necessary) havens for bois of color, dappers uninterested in femming it up, and a Bay Area-based maker of masculine suits re-engineered for women and transmen. The truth is those sites are more or less Goliaths powered by teams of people compared to the little one-woman show that is Fit for a Femme, so we also touched on how deep and rich butch resources are on the internet and how that might be closely connected to the fact that there is so little media representation of butch women in pop culture.

HINT: This doesn't count!

Any time a group can't find themselves in the media, they tend to create that space for themselves on the web. Femmes crave that same community, which makes it an even bigger shame that one of our biggest online and "IRL" spaces - FemmeCon - won't be happening next month in Atlanta, GA. Of course, Southern femmes, and especially Southern femmes of color and trans femmes, are being hit the hardest by that lack of community. But a femme can dream, and we'll get there one day.

Watch the entire segment below and let me know what you think in the comments!