OMFG, I love my new bear tights. They arrived (from Latvia, with love!) sometime in August, and of course it hasn't been cool enough to put them on yet - until today! It actually rained. They're a small fashion brand called QooQoo, and they are awesome. They are so awesome that I am wondering if it's possible to tattoo your knees. I can tell that M is jealous, but more on that (and the tights! MOAR BEARS!) later.

Tonight, we're talking about mascara. I recently shared this advice with a sweetpea who asked for it, but figured the world would be a better place if I shared it with y'all. Just doing my part. 1st STOP, WATERPROOF MASCARA:

I can tell you what it’s NOT: Benefit BadGal, Urban Decay Cannonball. I love Urban Decay's eye shadows and eye liners, swear by them in fact, but their mascara didn't even survive a test-run in Ulta. I purchased Benefit's waterproof formula in BadGal and it was in a sad state after two hours of surfing.

Now, I haven’t tried these, but the reviews look promising: Anna Sui Super Mascara Waterproof, Avon Wash-Off Waterproof Mascara, Maybelline’s The Falsies / Magnum Volum’ Express / Full ‘n Soft (all in their waterproof formulas). Anyone, uh, surfed in these puppies? My gal needs 'em to be saltwater-proof! 2nd STOP, DRUGSTORE MASCARA:

For drugstore mascaras, I love Cover Girl Lash Blast and Maybelline The Magnum Volum’ Express and Full ‘n Soft. I was married to L’Oreal for years, but quit when I realized they tested on animals. TESTING ON ANIMALS IS LAME. Eating them is totally okay. Let's move on.

One other thing I was asked about is the difference between drugstore and high-end mascaras. I know this can be a DEEPLY personal and sensitive area for many of you, but my truth says that drugstore mascaras in general are perfectly fine for everything EXCEPT major drama, or a falsie effect. That’s when the more expensive or obscure brands come in. (Or actual false eyelashes, which freak my wife out in a major way.)  I am, however, happy to be proven wrong about drugstore mascaras - so have at it in the comments, kiddos.

There’s a Japanese brand called Sana, and their mascara Extra Large is a fiber-filled, “I will-see-your-falsies-and-raise-you-KA-CHOW” dream. If you want metrics, they deposit 15 denier fibers onto your lashes. 15 DENIER. The only downside is that it takes like three days to fully remove, but whatever. It's fucking magical. If I want to make it even more dramatic, I'll top it off with a very light coat of MAC Zoom Fast Black Lash (more on that below) to make them a deeper, truer jet black.


Besame makes a mascara and apparently, back when I had it in 2008, it survived both weddings and funerals. Plus it smells like motherfucking gingerbread (!!!), and it's only $18. It's beautifully made, beautiful to look at, and gives you lush, beautiful, classy lashes. Obviously I’m not really buying high-end mascara to go to brunch, but I will say that Estee Lauder’s More Than Mascara is an outstanding all-around mascara. One coat is plenty, but build it up to two or three and you'll have a nice, lush fringe going. YSL Volume Effet Faux Cils was gorgeous and perfect but sheds under the eye, which never happens to me with other mascaras, so it’s off the list. Christian Dior DiorShow ($25) < YSL Faux Cils ($30), though. (It made my eyes itchy like Maybelline's Great Lash.) MAC Zoom Fast Black Lash ($15) is perfect for big, glossy, wet, jet black lashes, but the brush needs work (or just sanitize an old brush and swap 'em out - I plan to with the YSL Faux Cils soon). Fresh Supernova is worth every penny (and it's $25).

OK, tell me about your favorites now! Waterproof, day, night. Spill it!