On your snark, get set, GO!

SF version.

Isla version.

Look at this dress! I love it. It's Liberty of London for Target, and the rest doesn't matter, because I feel like I could be having the most godawful day ever and so long as I'm wearing this dress, it wouldn't show. Fortunately, godawful days for me are few and far between, and dresses like this don't come along every day! There may or may not also be a Liberty of London for Target swimsuit special around the corner, on location in El Mexico, but you stay tuned, now, you hear?

Anyway, let's all roll up our sleeves and put elbow grease into some good old lesbian drama. On your snark, get set, GO! I present you with the cast of Showtime's coming-this-June lesbian reality show, The Real L Word. Clearly it hasn't begun yet, but it's already a hot topic. After seeing a ton of friends on Facebook fan the show in recent weeks, I noticed that a certain local, well-known lesbian DJ of color pitched in with her two cents on the show's casting in a status today (just to be coy, I won't say which DJ):

the 'real' L Word isn't so real when your cast consists of all femme girls, no blacks or asians. sorry but that seems pretty lame to me.

After leaving a super thoughtful knee-jerk comment in response ("For serious? WEAKSAUCE!"), I dug a bit deeper. Behold the official cast page, in which we find that half the cast MIGHT be non-white, and that The Real L Word star Rosa is both Latina and the inspiration for Fake L Word's super authentic Papi. Oh, you know the one:

Remember her? All she had to do was refer to herself in the third person and anything with a vagina in a quarter-mile radius would come quivering along, half-lidded and tongue-tied with desire, and poor Shane had to play second fiddle for a little while in the There's Only Room For One Player At A Time department. Such a shame. Let's all hope Rosa's infinitely less obnoxious than Papi.

Then we have Whitney! Whitney possesses "savvy street smarts and a wild edge...an absolute handful." I asked my producer friend to enlighten me - "street smarts," she says, "is probably just code for rough around the edges," and I'm not going to argue with that because her Facebook profile pic totally makes her look like an apocalyptic zombie slayer who will straight FUCK YOUR SHIT UP (and no, I'm not posting the link to it, I'm a lady). It's totally impossible to discern whether she's white or not at this point, though, and hey, nobody ever guesses that I'm half German and I totally am, but then again a really good friend of mine thought I was 100% white until a few weeks ago, so there you go. Y'all just never know!

Finally, there's Tracy and I just can't tell what her ethnicity might be, but fortunately she appears to spend the season processing with her mommy and perhaps that will shed some light on things.

The problem isn't with these women, it's with the premise of the show, which insinuates that they represent average lesbians. The problem is, of course, that any lesbian worth her salt knows that there's no such damn thing as an average lesbian. DJ Doesn't Mince Words weighed in with this comment as well:

it seems like you can't be a broke lesbian either. only white, femme, power-lesbians are allowed.

Another commenter noted that The Real L Word is simply re-reinforcing the same old race, class, and gender phobias that we all got our panties in bunches over on the original L Word, in addition to providing wank material for delusional straight men. Horrors! Where are the black lesbians? Where are the Indian lesbians? Where are the differently-abled lesbians? Where are the happily fat ones? The masculine-identified ones? How about lesbian moms? (Wait, nevermind.) What about transfolks? We're leaving out some of the best bits, which isn't at all to say the six ladies who made it onto the show lack bits, perhaps they do not, or aren't lovely and wonderful, perhaps they are, or perhaps LA isn't the ultimate melting pot we all think it is, perhaps Chaiken needs to DIAF and stop presuming to represent us, perhaps we need to stop nitpicking, perhaps we need to be more patient, perhaps Tila Tequila shouldn't have all the fun, perhaps Spring Break: The Real Dinah Shore will be a reality show next year, perhaps today's lesbian porn is - hysterically and blessedly - more evolved and representative of who we are than today's lesbian television programming!

On that note, it's hard to swallow that NO show will ever be able to truly capture who we are as a community when it's the ONLY show we've got. You know? So, let's make more fucking shows, y'all. Who's hiding some serious seed money?!