Stuart! This blazer + our California flag combo makes me giggle because THE CALIFORNIANS.
As you may know, Southern California is a wildly different planet from the California I grew up in (for more on that, just ask Julie Goldman), but happens to be the California where my wife was raised, although she doesn't share the same allegiance to hers as I have to mine.
In fact, she doesn't really have an allegiance to any place, not really, and while I generally find her amusing and intriguing, lately this bit is especially so. (Plus, it makes me feel a heady little mix of vague envy and needless, low-grade anxiety.)
I read an essay of sorts this morning that a friend posted about saying goodbye to New Orleans, and it made me wonder about the human impulse to create metaphors for cities as lovers. Heaven knows I'm guilty of it, and the concept certainly lends itself more to some places than others, but I've been thinking a lot about the idea of home, where the romanticized version intersects with reality, a person's expectations and how one's childhood home informs those expectations much later in life.
The author wrote I fear I'm utterly unfit for life anywhere else and I've been struggling with that, too. I cherish the soft, dreamy pliancy that comes with spending the first 30+ years of my life in California, but I also haven't got a feeble bone in my body and never wanted to be the kind of girl who couldn't leave home. It turns out being the kind of girl who can is a lot harder than it looks.
On that note, I'm headed west to recharge and get inspired at A-Camp in 10 days! I can't wait to see familiar faces and meet lots of new ones atop Mt. Feelings, to breathe in fresh mountain air at gloriously high altitudes and get up to all kinds of nonsense in what is forecast to be splendid weather with a few hundred other cabin queers, including a wedding!
But first, Mother's Day is Sunday! It might be a beach day here, so I've got my fingers crossed. This morning M asked me if I wanted a seaside brunch, and my reply was a sleepy "Sandy pancakes, please!"
A big old Happy Mother's Day to any moms out there, and hugs to everyone who has a tough time with it this year.
‘Pixie’ Pant in Leather Tuxedo Stripe – Hudson | Thin Sweater – UO | Prep School Blazer - Thrifted | 'Kristen' Penny Loafers in Wine Suede – Dana Davis | 'Shark Attack' Necklace - Nasty Gal | ‘Kieko’ Nail Polish – Zoya